She Said

Signs You Might be a Golf Widow

10 signs you have become a golf widow.

Sadly, some women don’t even realize they’re golf widows. Like most widows, women married to obsessive golfers go through several stages of grief, including denial. So how do you know if you’re ready to join the Golf Widow Club?  Here are a few indicators:

“Golf—The art of playing fetch with yourself.”

1. If you come home from a Saturday shopping spree and no one’s home to hide the bags from—you might be a golf widow.

2. If you open your dryer to pull out the loose change that’s rattling around only to come up with a handful of tees and divot tools—you might be a golf widow.

3. If you reach for the “emergency cash” in your husband’s sock drawer but it’s been replaced by stacks of cherished scorecards—you might be a golf widow.

4. If your DVR is filled to capacity with lock-protected golf lessons and super important tournaments—you might be a golf widow.

5.  If you no longer even ask whether your husband will be free on Saturday—you might be a golf widow.

6. If you have to “pack light” so he can fit the clubs in the trunk—you might be a golf widow.

7. If your husband unconsciously practices his swing, checks his footing, and tests his weight shift during conversations, standing in line, or at any other idle moment—you might be a golf widow.

8. If you can’t remember buying him birthday, Christmas, or Father’s Day gifts that weren’t golf related—you might be a golf widow.

9. If the number for the local course is the first on his speed dial—you might be a golf widow.

10. If you hear him mumble, “Get in the hole!” or God forbid, “Fore!” in his sleep—you might be a golf widow.

“Golf is tougher than my first wife.”

Ken Green

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